The many men I live with.

 

 Sitting at the table with cups of coffee, watching the snow out the window and talking, as usual. We seem to never run out of things to discuss and that is, I think, because we are both so many different people, past and present. With Larry, one minute it's my boyfriend of 40 years ago telling me about the music he was listening to downstairs earlier and who says we need to go dancing some time soon and I reply 'as long as it's slow dancing'.

Then suddenly I'm hearing the outraged in disbelief career long reporter talking about all that we are witnessing in our world right now and how he still longs to be back in the game and try to do some good. I tell him we can still try to do good but not by writing newspaper stories but staying aware and involved.

 And there is, of course, always the dad because the loss of those two beautiful boys are forever in our thoughts and lately there is this senior citizen speaking up loudly about, well, everything! and then he's a brother being concerned about his younger one who's far away.

The long time artist appeared sharing some new ideas he has about future pieces, always good news.

Then he takes one last sip of coffee and says 'you're so pretty, I love looking at you' and my standard reply is 'that's a good thing because it seems like I'm always here for you to look at' and to talk to and that is part of what makes a marriage work for so many years along with much care and trust and hugs.

He follows me into the kitchen where I get a skillet of cornbread in the oven to have with the pot of chili that's bubbling on the stove ... still talking. I think living with so many interesting men is not such a bad thing.

trying hard.

April, 17, 2025

It has been tough to stay creative in these times of worry and disbelief. I've always been aware of never making art when my mind and thoughts are not good and clear and do not ever want to infuse any piece with bad energy. So I've waited, hoping to wake up from this bad dream and looking for any good that might be found. 

This week we've finally taken a few steps in the right direction toward better times ~ fingers crossed ~ and been able to take some deep, calming breaths.

Prayer wings seemed like the perfect, plump, soft lovely's to get my hands busy with and they made me forget all about the terrible things going on around us for a little while and they make me remember to keep praying and to stay connected to the positive and to always be thankful.

 

 

Always be ready to meet the people who arrive.

 

 We never know who will be staying next door to us, it's like having brand new neighbors all the time.

 But I met a very lovely and exhausted woman yesterday evening when she checked into the vacation home. She arrived alone but her children will be coming in from different locations in the next day or two to join together and celebrate her birthday and remember her husband and their dad who they lost awhile back.

I spent more time with her than I usually do when welcoming people, showing her all around the house, hoping to make her feel at ease. In the kitchen when she told me about her husband she did something that I've become very aware of with women and I find that I do it, too. As the words were being said she raised a hand to her heart area as she talked but looked into my eyes the whole time. So I shared with her that at the end of this month we will be thinking of and honoring and missing a dearly loved son, one of two and a brother that we lost within the past few years and how no, it just doesn't get any easier.

There is a comfort, I suppose, in this gesture even if we are not meaning to do it that feels protective to us, to them. So it inspired me to spend time in the studio creating more prayer wings, I love them so, and was happy to realize that we had no appointments to get to today so I breathed deeply of the leather and rubbed it good with mink oil and took out the basket of feathers and beads and found objects ... and smiled.

One. Happy. Girl.

2/17/25

 

This is me a few years ago but I wanted to add it right here because it has been that many years since I've been able to post on my blog! And suddenly it's back and I am over the moon about it! 

I have no idea why it was gone and absolutely no clue why it appeared as if nothing had happened but I'm unexplainably grateful to have it again. I started it in 2010 while we were living in El Paso and learning all the new computer things. I love learning new stuff, figuring out how to add photos and how to manage comments and finding all the others who were doing the same things back then ... just going to keep my fingers crossed that Windrock Studio is back in business.

lucky girl

6/14/23

 

 

 I'm so happy to still have my blog, this space where I've been coming for over a dozen years to write down my thoughts and experiences, hopes and dreams. It's basically for me to be able to remember times and places, to recall how I felt about certain things, not because of a fear of not being able to but because we take in so much just during a day, much less all the accumulated years of this life.

What I want to share this time is that I had a fall last week that I'm still recovering from, I didn't break anything which is amazing when I replay it all because it was pretty hard. It wasn't an old lady fall but one involving uneven pavement where the side of my boot went over the edge and I went down.

If you've ever been unlucky enough to have this happen to you or someone just walking along beside you, you'll know how fast and also, at the same time, how in slow motion it plays out. I knew I was falling and I could tell it would be on my right side as soon as I felt my knee hit and then my whole side, from hip to arm.

And then, as though I could see it, I knew my face was going to be the next thing to hit the sidewalk ... but then, a fraction of an inch away instead of hard pavement I felt unmistakable softness, exactly like two finger tips cushioning my cheek where it could have been crushed. 

And then it was over except for the getting up part with Larry's help and a quick inventory of my parts while being pretty shaky, both of us. Now, I was told very many years ago that I have seven guardian angels and I've never questioned that or wondered why it takes so many, there have been countless times when I'm sure it has taken them all. They've helped me make it a lot longer than I ever thought possible, given how I've lived. 

You either believe or you don't but I know I would not be me if I scoffed or thought otherwise about this and I do know how very thankful I am when one or all of them remind me of their presence on a daily basis. If you've been around here before you know that I tell it like it is in my world and always appreciate those who want to visit.

that lovin' feeling

4/12/23

 

 I was reminded just a little while ago that the most wonderful, life changing, heart opening thing that can ever happen to you is to be loved totally for exactly who you are and supported in decisions you make, right or wrong, even if that cost you a paycheck and to be told that your "little bit of a temper" and your strong, unwavering sense of who you are in the world are the first things that made him fall in love with you. To know that someone has your back and will do any and every thing to be on your side forever is a tremendous, kind and loving feeling. 

We are still struggling over here, still feeling in shock, still being overcome with sadness, memories and emotions every day. So having to deal with petty, mean behavior is even more difficult and unwelcome but it has made us draw even closer together and I didn't think that was possible.

So if you have or know of this kind of love I hope you cherish it, if you haven't found it yet I pray you do and if you haven't kissed and hugged your loved ones today I want you to do it now and as many times as you can.

embracing these seventies

1/18/23

 

                              "You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly      possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality."

                                        Florida Scott-Maxwell  ~ the measure of my days